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Keys to a Healthy Marriage
by Erbind Smitglie
http://www.rmarriage.com
With the divorce rate climbing ever higher, couples that
wish to maintain their marriage need to think about what
makes their relationship healthy and how to keep it that
way. There are a few things to remember that can keep the
marriage relationship a healthy one. One of the most
important things to remember, however, is that no marriage
is perfect. It requires work and effort. Additionally, it
requires commitment. Anyone who thinks that once they are
married everything will always be nice is in for a surprise
and probably a divorce if not prepared to deal with the
surprise.
The very word marriage implies alliance of two parties,
which leaves no scope for selfish interests. The rule of the
game is compromise. If you make small concessions for your
spouse, cater to the pleasures of your spouse, sooner or
later you will be reciprocated and a wonderful pattern will
be formed. It's easier to conquer with compassion than with
coercion. It is wiser to bend than to break. Most
importantly, do a good turn and forget about it; don't keep
harping on it or wait to get something in return. Doing
something for your spouse is like saying you understand.
And, that's what really counts.
Deciding on a budget is another thing that can help a
marriage. This means that both parties should sit down and
understand the family finances. If you are in a position to
allow each person a set amount of money to spend as he or
she likes, then that can be very helpful. Everything else
should go toward bills, household maintenance, and shared
purchase decisions. Related to this is division of labor.
Many traditional marriage roles are changing, and you need
to decide what works best for you and your spouse, and
stick with it. And you cannot be afraid to reevaluate and
reassign as needed.
Communication is another important marriage key. It is
important to communicate with each other, and to try to do
so in a sensitive and kind manner. Try and focus on
behaviors rather than the person. Also, expressing things
in terms of how you feel can help prevent attacks on the
other person. In a marriage, it is important that your most
important relationship issues be talked out with your
spouse, not your friends. Speaking with a friend about
relationship problems instead of your spouse leads to
serious marriage problems because then you have secrets
that you tell people other than your spouse. It creates an
emotional bond that grows to be stronger than the bond you
have with your partner.
Marriage should be a partnership. To keep your marriage
healthy, it is important to keep connected with your spouse
and try to remember that what you have is worth working
at.
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