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Choosing A Marriage Counselor
by Spaventa Impego
http://www.abcmarriage.com
With the changing time marriage counseling and marriage
therapy is gaining more popularity amongst couples. They
want to give a last chance to revive their marriage before
scrapping it completely. This has led to birth of many
marriage counselors and marriage therapists. But the market
is also flooded with many unreliable and fruitless marriage
counselors and marriage therapists. So make sure you are
going to best marriage counselor or therapist available in
the market.
One mistake people make when entering marriage counseling
is in going to a general psychological therapist whose
practice isn't predominately marriage counseling. What
happens many times is that a person enters individual
counseling and then brings their mate in for marriage
counseling or therapy. Therapists who focus primarily on
individual therapy don't, as a rule, make good marriage
counselors or marriage therapists. That's because
individual therapy is vastly different from marriage
therapy, and so it's a good idea to select a therapist
or counselor whose primary focus is in on marriage
counseling.
Also, you should never bring a partner into marriage
counseling with a therapist who has been helping you because
this gives a lopsided view of the situation to the therapist
who has already formed an opinion. It's always best to seek
a marriage counselor who is unknown to both of you so that
he is more open to hearing and evaluating both sides of the
marriage story without any biases.
It is always said to be wise for having a phone interview
with the marriage counselor and therapist before making an
appointment. If that is not feasible then use your first
meeting as question answer session. You should ask a number
of questions to the therapist, as it is you who can save
your marriage from the disaster. If you find that therapist
is not able to answer your queries with ease, then go in for
someone else with the experience.
You need to check the marriage counselor's credentials and
background. You should check his track record to see how
many marriages he has saved versus the number of them that
were dissolved. Avoid the extremes. Instead look for someone
who is neutral, if possible. Be wary of a marriage therapist
who tells you he doesn't believe in divorce. No matter how
much you'd want to save your marriage, you should hire a
marriage counselor who will help both of you through making
the decision and any transition that's necessary.
Even after you've hired a marriage therapist or marriage
counselor, don't hesitate to get out at any time when you
feel he is being unfair or has started taking sides. The
very idea of a marriage counselor is to get support and
equality for both partners. He should work objectively.
However be prepared to face some unpleasant questions. But,
if you feel you're being judged too severely, or you're
being singled out as the bad guy, or you're not being
helped, just stop and look for another marriage counselor.
If there is anything worse than a bad marriage it is a bad
marriage therapist or counselor.
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